Star cast: Gul Panag, Celina Jiatley, Eesha Koppikhar,  Javed Jaffery, Chunky Panday, Divya Dutta.

Plot: Javed is a lecherous boss under whom Gul, Celina and Eesha feel sexually harassed. They decide to teach him a lesson.

What’s Good: Nothing!

What’s Bad: Everything, right from the crude jokes to the disjointed screenplay.

Verdict: HELLO DARLING will prove to be an alarming disaster.

Loo break: Anytime!

It is supposed to be a comedy on the burning topic of sexual harassment at the work place. But the tragedy is that the so-called comedy fails to evoke laughter or even a smile.

Pankaj Trivedi and Sachin Shah, who tickled the funny bone with their adult comedy, Kya Kool Hain Hum, fail miserably this time, what with their disjointed script being an assemblage of crude jokes, crass lines and double-meaning – make that single-meaning (the dirty one!) – dialogues. Is it because the film has turned out to be so shoddy that Subhash Ghai chose to not even present younger brother Ashok Ghai’s film under the Mukta Arts banner? Or is it due to the accusation that the film is a rip off on the Hollywood flick, Nine To Five?

Anyway, Mansi (Gul Panag), Candy (Celina Jaitley) and Satvati (Eesha Koppikhar) work in a company, the vice president of which is lecherous Harddick (yes, that’s how his name is spelt!) Vasu. He sexually harasses them, they physically harass him when they tie him up in chains and hold him captive for days together – and all this harassment becomes an embarrassment for the public to watch. The sexual advances are so direct, you wonder if there’s anything called subtlety.

Gul is at least earnest and sincere in this mindless enterprise. Celina and Eesha are okay. Jaaved Jaaferi should stop acting in films with such inane plots. Chunky Panday has been hoplessly wasted. Divya Dutta tries to entertain with her Gujaratiben act but a…ra…ra…., doesn’t she know, Ketaki Dave did it ages ago as Dakshaben in Kyunki… Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi? Seema Biswas plays Phoolan Tai and must say, Shekhar Kapur, who introduced her as Phoolan Devi in Bandit Queen, would cry tears of blood if he saw this film.

Manoj Tiwari makes a pitiable debut as director. After all, he is unable to raise any laughter, chuckle or smile. Pritam seems to be out of form because the songs are far from engaging.

On the whole, Hello Darling will bid the box-office ’bye in no time. As for those associated with the film, they’ll have to say “hello” to failure.

By Komal Nahta

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