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In the show Baby Reindeer, When Donny first sets his eyes on Martha, he feels pity. In his own words, he felt sorry for her just by looking at her condition. Feeling sad about someone without even knowing what is going on with them can be complicated, but seeing Martha’s overall appearance, Donny could not help it. This feeling of pity leads him to offer her a cup of tea, which sets the foundation stone of all the hell that eventually breaks loose.
Throughout the show, the viewers are bound to wonder why Donny is so sympathetic towards Martha, even when she harasses him and those close to her beyond the gates of hell. However, a little insight into Donny’s character helps us understand the situation better. As it appears in the show, Donny seems to be empathic, always trying to understand what the other person is going through. Moreover, when he meets Martha, he is in a vulnerable position. He feels stuck in a dead-end job, and his dream of becoming a successful comedian seems impossible and distant. At this point, Martha gives him the attention he has always craved. She looks at her with a sense of pride, giving his ego a much-needed boost. Martha’s web of validation makes Donny a prisoner of her obsessive stalking, and no matter how much he tries, he finds it extremely difficult to escape.
Donny’s own experience with abuse also makes him more sensitive towards Martha. In the final episode of the show, where Donny realizes why Martha calls him Baby Reindeer, he understands the kind of abuse she had gone through and how that has shaped him into the person she is today. Donny’s sexual abuse in the hands of his mentor figure Darrien and his gradual submission to him also helps him better understand Martha’s position as someone who has been abused in the past and then turned into an abuser.
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